A family resemblance...

Often we look at Phinn and see resemblances to Hilde or Enoch. Tonight I decided to see if it was just in my head so I looked at a few old pictures. I tried to find pictures at similar ages with similar expressions. These kids definitely have the same parents. From top to bottom the pictures are Phinn, Enoch and Hilde.

8 Months

Saturday, 20 March - and 8 months have flown by. I can hardly believe that my baby is no longer my baby. He is more and more mobile, starting to cruise a little, pulling himself up anywhere, and crawling too fast. He still only has two teeth, but at least two others are on the brink of bursting through (and he is feeling the pain). He is starting some verbal development as well. Phinn is babbling da da da da and making more noises that sound like mom and dad. I have excited conversations with him frequently, if I only I could figure out what he really wanted to tell me. Enoch occasionally claims that Phinn has said his first word, but he hasn't really. He is eating like a champ and wants to make the transition to real food and feeding himself. Mom isn't ready for the mess that will involve, so she is procrastinating. He is a great kid, we love him dearly. Here are some pics.

Hugs or Kisses?

This was the conversation after picking the kids up from daycare and heading to swimming today:

E: Daddy, if we are really good at swimming can we get a treat?
D: Of course, for your treat you can have kisses.
E: NOOOOOOOOOO kisses!!! A real treat.
D: OK, you can have kisses AND hugs.
E: NOOOOO kisses! NOOO Hugs. OK, some hugs, but NO kisses.

That's my boy!

Avoiding Club Membership

Being human comes with a deep longing to belong to a group, to be heard, and to be loved.

Just a few months after Dave and I married, we went to a friend's summer party. It was in Virginia, in July, and it was HOT outside. So much so, that many of the group meandered inside. Since it was a BBQ, most of the men stayed outside to tend to the meat. Dave and I were recently married, and these were my friends not his, so we stuck together. We went into the nice cool air conditioned living room and sat down next to a group of women. They were mid conversation and the fact that Dave and I appeared didn't slow them down. In fact, it gave them ammunition.

You see, they were part of what I have come to see as a club. When a group of women get together, they can sometimes turn the conversation into a discussion of the faults the men in their lives possess. An innocent comment can kick it off. Sometimes the discussion can turn mean spirited, and often I wonder how the men in their lives would feel if they heard a recording of the conversation later. At this time, the women were in full form and as soon as they heard we were newlyweds they launched into telling me all the faults I would discover in Dave as the honeymoon stage wore off. And remember, Dave was sitting right there, beside me. I left that party learning a very good lesson - my need to belong and to be heard is secondary to my need to be loved (and trusted) by my husband.

Since that time I have been in many situations (girls nights, Relief Society (church), etc.) where the women turn to conversations putting down men and it makes my heart hurt. I often find myself defending men in general, and highlighting Dave's positive qualities, which he sometimes finds embarrassing. But I just can't join the Club.

I am not perfect, and I don't always say the right thing. I get frustrated and tired and completely worn down. And I might share those conversations in private moments with a loved friend or family member. Or I might listen to someone else in that situation. But the intent is to build up and move on, to end on positive notes, find ways to make things better.

So, I invite you to join me in avoiding club memberships that are negative. There is enough of that in the world without any help from us.

7 Months!!

Be prepared for complete cuteness. Be prepared for some of the bluest eyes you have ever seen. Be prepared for big smiles. Be prepared to smile yourself. Because this kid is special and you can't help but love him, all EIGHTEEN pounds of him. On February 20th Phinn was 7 months old. On February 11th we got his 6 month check up and he was 18 pounds 8 ounces, 26 inches long and his head was 17.5" in circumference. He is not in danger of wasting away to nothing, that is for sure. This month has brought some big developments. He has two teeth, he is no longer immobile, and he loves to eat real food. He started crawling in earnest about four weeks ago, and he gets a little faster each day. And although he likes crawling, he has his eye and thoughts on walking. He often crawls on toes and hands, and tries to push up to a stand. Yesterday he pulled himself up to a stand and tried to cruise around. Last month he tried a few foods, now he has had much more. There isn't anything he won't eat. Green beans, peas, sweet potatoes, yogurt, pears, peaches, rice cereal, oatmeal, peas, puffs, etc. During meal time he gets pretty frustrated if your rhythm gets off. Once his mouth is open he expects another spoonful of delicious yumminess. We are still working on sleeping through the night. He still gets up at least twice, but other than that, he is a pretty fantastic kid. We think we'll keep him.
I love seeing these smiles everyday. They are incredibly contagious.
Evidence of his two teeth. Be careful he doesn't get your finger, those babies are sharp.
Hiding his true age already.

The three kids together. I love these guys.

Job Chart

I look around the house right this moment, and things are pretty good. Dishes mostly done, main level pretty clean and uncluttered, table polished, etc. But there is no hope of it staying that way for long. And it is depressing and HARD work some times. In full disclosure, we have a cleaner come to our house once a week who cleans and vacuums from top to bottom, and STILL it is hard to keep up with the clutter. So imagine how happy I was when last week Hilde asked if she could have a Job Chart. She made it herself, and we put 5 things on it:

1) Clean bedroom
2) Clean playroom
3) Wash dishes
4) Wash vegetables
5) Sweep kitchen

Every time she does one of these she can put a sticker on the chart. Once she has 30 stickers, she can get a treat (yet to be determined). Saturday morning Dave came in and said "Guess what your children are doing." It was quiet so I figured they must be watching a show or doing puzzles. To my surprise, Hilde and Enoch were making a job chart for Enoch. His had essentially the same things as Hilde except instead of wash dishes he had clean windows. I know this will be the first of a zillion experiments on how to teach the kids to help clean the house, and to teach them responsibility, but right now it is fun. And although we already have them clear away their dishes after meals, put away their laundry, and clean their rooms, I realize there are many other things we could have them do. Here is a list of some ideas for age appropriate chores.

What do you have your kids do? What age were they when you first started "chores". What do your kids like/dislike doing? What is the one chore you HATE and the one you secretly like?

Recent happenings

Phinn is starting to want to exercise his legs. He loves it when Hilde takes him on a walk like this.
Hilde dressing up as Belle. She is at the age where dressups are harder to find, but she LOVES them.
I think this kid is going to have blue eyes. In person they are beautiful, clear, and slightly lighter than Enoch's.
Phinn wore a cute little three piece suit to his Uncle Matt's wedding. Here he is with Grandpa. Two of my favorite guys. The suit made it through the wedding, but about 20 minutes later Phinn spit up ALL over it. He wore PJs to the reception.
The time difference was killing him. Just look at how tired he is!